Hot Hollywood Bollywood Actress wardrobe Malfunction, Penty Slip, cleavage Photos Pictures Images: March 2013

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Naughty Jokes and SMS

Jokes in Hindi

Pathan naukrani se : tum begam se jyada maza deti ho |
Naukrani : Hujur ye to aapki जर्रा नवाज़ी है ।

"Nahi to sare naukar to ye kehte hai ki Begam Jayada maza deti hai".

DONKEY MEMSAHIB

Dirty Jokes

In the days of the British Raj, an officer of Her Majesty’s Government was holed up in a remote rural village. His child had caught chicken pox. No doctor was immediately available and hence he decided to implement his servant’s advice.

The servant, after much effort, was able to explain to the Englishman that donkey’s milk was a traditional remedy for the ailment. The Englishman ordered his servants to get hold of a donkey.

Every time they got a donkey, it turned out to be a male one. Unable to explain in his broken Hindi that he wanted female donkey and a male one, he finally thundered, to his wife, ‘you fools, mujhe memshib jaisa gadha chahiye.’
Nothing is known of his wife’s reaction!

CLASSIFIED GOOFS

Monday:

Natural Jokes

For sale: Mr Antony De’melow has one sewing machine for sale. Ph 5152431 after 7 pm and ask for Ms Leila who lives with him cheap.

Teusday

We regret having erred in Mr. D’mellow’s ad yesterday. It should have read one sewing machine for sale cheap ph 5152431 & asked for Mrs Leila who lives with him after 7 pm.

Wednesday

Mr. Demellow has informed us that he has received several annoying phone calls because of the error in the classified ad of yesterday—it stands corrected as follows;

Naughty ride

For sale: Mr. De’ mellow has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Ph 5152431 after 7 Pm and ask for Ms Leila who lives with him.

Thursday

I,Mr, Antony De’mellow, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Ms. Leila. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit.

Tazmahal love Quotes

HEAVY MAKE-UP

Banto: ‘You are looking different today, Santo.’

Santo: ‘Yes! The doctor advised me to reduce 5 kg.’

Banto: and you reduced 5 kg?’

Santo: ‘Yes I have stopped putting on my make-up.’

Naughty Friends jokes

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फौजी : फौजी जंग से 3 साल बाद वापस आया और खिड़की के पास उदास बैठ गया ।

बीवी : दुपटा गिरा के बोली देखो हवा ने मेरा क्या उडा दिया ।

फौजी चुप ।

बीवी : कुर्ती निकाल के देखो हवा ने मेरा क्या उडा दिया ।

फौजी चुप ।

बीवी : फिर सलवार उतार कर हवा ने मेरा क्या उडा दिया ।

फौजी गुस्से से पैंट उतार कर :

देखो Bomb ने मेरा क्या उड़ा दिया ।

बीवी चुप ।

Adults Naughty Pictures SMS

Adults Only

Why did only 18 sardar ji go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed..!!!!!!

FISHING IN TROUBLED WATERS

Adult jokes

A fisherman sitting on the river bank watched a beautiful girl undressing to take a swim.

As she was about to dive in, he shouted : ‘swimming is prohibited here.’

‘why didn’t you tell me before I took of my clothes?’ she complained.

‘Undressing is not prohibited,’ he replied. !!

NO SUVIDHA

Naughty jokes in pics

Ram lal married a girl who worked in the telephone exchange.

On the first night, being tired the girl fell asleep as soon as she got into bed.

when Ram Lal tried to wake her saying he wanted to make love,

she sleepily replied, ‘Sorry but this service is no longer available on this number.’

Adults Jokes

PREGNANT IDEA

Banto filled up her insurance form but left column no 5’ Whether you are pregnant or not’ blank. The insurance underwriter scrutinised the form and wrote back to Banto, ‘Please let us know whether you are pregnant or not, so that we do the needful.’

IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER

A friend asked a boy: ‘Why have you named your children VC, MC and ABC?

Are you so enamoured at all. The first one is named VC, because he was out of virgin’s curiosity. The second is MC, because of Misplaced confidence. The last one is because of Absolute Bloody Carelessness.

Adult Naughty scraps

Adults Jokes On Girls

HONEYMOONING

So you want leave so that can get married and go on a honeymoon?

How long do you want? Asked the colonel of the captain.

‘well, how long do you suggest, Sir’ asked the captain politely.

‘No good asking me. I haven’t seen the girl,’......!!!!!!

Adult jokes sms

Doctor : patient ne bataya ki meri shrawan shakti itni kamjor ho gayi hai ki mujhe khasne tak ki aawaj sunai nahi deti.

Doctor : doctor ne goliyon ki ek sisi di aur bola, Do Goliyan sone se pehle kha lijiye

Patient : in Goliyon se mujhe sunai dene lagega kya.

Doctor : Nahi tumhari khansi ki aawaz tez ho jayegi

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POLITICAL SLOGAN

Hum sath sath hain(Hum

A multi-party group of political workers used to go for a morning walk in the vicinity of a small town. One day they passed by an ancient temple where a few devotees were chanting in a seduced voice, ‘Bolo Jai Jai Krishna Murari.’

Hearing their chant, the BJP worker said, ‘I guess they are singing, Desh ka neta Atal Bihari,”’

‘No’, remarked the congressman, ‘ The refrain of their bhajan is “Sonia hai sartaj hamari.”’

The BSP activist asserted, ‘ I believe they are humming “Mayavati ki maya nyari,”’

Discounting their surmises, the SP worker blurted : ’All you are wrong. They are chanting “Mulayam maare chot karari”

WELCOMING GENERAL MUSHARRAF(POLITICAL)

political sms pics

Seen on the back of an auto rickshaw in Delhi:

Doodh Mangogey to kheer dengey

Kashmir mangogey to cheer dengey

(Should you ask for milk, we will serve you milk pudding, if you ask for Kashmir you will be rent apart?)

PRAYERS UNANSWERED(POLITICAL)

When former US President Jimmy Carter visited Jerusalem, Israel’s Prime Minister, Begin took him to the Wailing Wall. ‘Oh God, ‘Carter prayed, ‘Please help the Arabs and Israelis find peace.’

Political sms

‘Amen, ‘said Begin.

‘And please, God, Let the Egyptians and Israelis live in peaceful coexistence.’

‘Amen,’ said Begin.

‘And please tell the Israelis to return to the Arabs all the territories they occupied in the 1967 war.’

‘I would like to remind you, Mr. President,’ said Begin,’ that you are talking to a wall.’

WHITE HOUSE (Political)HUMOUR/(Political)JOKE

political Manu jokes

Question: why did young white house intern refuse to go for a course in sex-education?

Answer: because she was told the final exam would be ‘oral’

2. Why did this nymphomaniac take an intern’s job at the white house?

Answer: hoping to find sexual harassment in office!!!

POLITICAL PICS SMS

REMEMBERING C.R.(Political)

When C. Rajagopalachari as prime Minister of the Old Madras Presidency was invited to address

political Slogans

the students union of Presidency College, Madras, in 1937, young Aga shahi, who later won a place in the ICS and opted for Pakistan, was president of the students’ union. Welcoming Rajaji (as he was affectionately called), he concluded his address with these words: ‘ We extend a most respectful welcome to Rajaji who is socially, morally, politically and matrimonially connected to the Mahatma. ‘ There was thunderous applause for Agha Shahi’s speech.

Rose the most potent , grave and revered C.R. to reply: ’My dear young college union president and friends, thank you for the kind welcome. Somebody got the wife somebody got the husband, but I was not beneficiary.’

WHAT’S IN A NAME (POLITICAL)

Political jokes

President Clinton(Political): I am sorry to say, Mr sharif, that what you are doing in Kargil is not sharif.’

Nawaz Sharif: ‘Mr President, names have no bearing on political behaviour. Do you think what you Madelenine Albright has been done in Kosovo makes her that “bright”?’

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फौजी : फौजी जंग से 3 साल बाद वापस आया और खिड़की के पास उदास बैठ गया ।

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