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TAAZA KHABAR

One liner Jokes

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says.
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted.
Iraqi Heads Seeks Arms.
Stud Tires Out.
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.
Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again.
Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms.
Eye Drops Off Shelf.
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim.
Enraged Cow Injuries Farmer With Axe.
Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told.
Miners Refuse To Work After Death.

Hindi Jokes | Hindi SMS | Hindi Mobile SMS | Hindi Non Veg Jokes

Patient : Doctor sahib mere sine main Dil hai ya nahi?

Doctor : pehle ye batao ki tumhari jeb main paise hai ki nahi?’

Patni ko pehla bachha hone wala tha, Doosre mahine main pati use chck up ke liye doctor hospital le gaya. Lady Doctor ne patni ka muayna kiya, phir uske pet par ek mohar laga di aur unhe chalta kiya.

Pati patni ghar pahunche! Pati utsukta se mara jar aha tha! Usne patni ke pet ka saway muayana kiya aur mohar ko padhne ki kosis karne laga leki padh na saka phir usne Magnifying Glass aur torch ki sahayta se padhne ki kosis ki.

LET DOWN

Out of sheer deshbhakti (Patriotism), Banta once tried his luck in the defence forces. He was an ‘under trainee’ for his first parachute jump. His sergeant was giving instructions: ‘you count to ten and then pull this cord. If the parachute fails to open, you pull the emergency parachute cord here. And then try to land near the lorry down there, they will have a nice cup of tea waiting for you.’

Banta was flown high above the clouds and then let loose. He counted to ten and pulled the cord. Nothing happened. In a desperate bid, he pulled the emergency cord. Again, nothing happened. As he hurtled towards the lorry, he was heard to mutter: ‘Mainon lagda hai kit hale chaa ve nahin milni!’ (I bet there’s no cup of tea either!)

Jokes on THIRD UMPIRE

I cannot rest, I cannot sleep,

When kapilcries, the heavens weep,

Kapil the beloved, noble, great

Kapil in such a shattered state!

When money is the third umpire

And the fate of a match is known already,

When gentleman has yielded place

To the gambler and the greedy,

When mad excitement, palpitation, pride

And the business of life shut beside

In the floodlight of match-fixing

Look such a foolish thing,

When Wasim Akram and Hansie

Still composed, still so fussy,

When so many without a sign of grace Fend it off with a straight face,

This must be said in his defence

That kapil still has a conscience.

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PARADOXICAL LAND

Isn’t it a paradox like ‘a graceful witch?’

India is a poor country inhabit by the rich.

Go and see a scamster’s abode

You will find it glittering with gold.

Raid in a bureaucrat’s house unearths a crore

In a minister’s house it yields even more.

Police and tax officers all roll in wealth

Customs and excise chiefs enjoy better health.

Film stars, mafia dons and liquor kings.

Are multi-millionaires having diamond rings?

Who is poor? You and me

Whom Big B is trying to make Crorepati.

JYOTISHI AND HIS PREDICITIONS(Jokes)

A palmist went to Ram Lal’s house. Where Ram Lal’s wife had delivered a baby. He saw the baby’s hand and predicted: ‘This child will become the Rani of Jhansi.’

Ram Lal : But Maharaj, this is a boy.’

Palmist : Then he will become another Maharana Pratap.’

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