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Funny Airlines Jokes

FLY AT YOR OWN RISK

From the southwest Airlines employee: welcome aboard Southwest flight 276, Austin to Texas. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face, if you have small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with small children, decide now watch which one you love more.

TIMES HANGS HEAVY

An American who found himself in Moscow wanted to know the time. He saw a man approaching him, carrying two heavy suitcases and asked the fellow if he knew the correct time.

‘Certainly,’ said the Russian, setting down the two bags and looking at his wrist. ‘It is 11:45 and 17 seconds. The date is Feb 13, the moon is nearing its full phase and atmospheric pressure stands at 992 hectopascals and is rising.’

The visitor was dumbfounded but managed to ask if the watch that provided all that information was Japanese. ‘No,’ he was told, ‘ it is your own, a product of soviet technology.’

‘well that is wonderful, you are to be congratulated,

‘Yes, ‘the Russian answered, straining to pick up the suitcases, ‘but these batteries are a little heavy.’

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